Alis volat propriis – She flies with her own wings
Ok, so what if it’s the phrase used as the motto for the state of Oregon, I came across this Latin motto by accident and instantly fell in love with it. I am not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination- but I am a huge believer in being independent, self-sufficient, the only person who will never let you down is yourself. I love feeling the warmth and love of those around me, to have friends to call in times of need, to have those you trust and be able to cry with, to have lovers to cuddle into, to have family who support you unconditionally… But what can beat the sense of satisfaction and fulfilment of achieving something by yourself? Recently, I’ve been working around the clock to find penultimate year internships for this summer, tomorrow is my final round partner interview with a tier 1 MBB consultancy – never in my life have I wanted something more.
The feeling almost scares me, I am known for being easy-going and mellow, never harbouring too strong opinions on an issue, always willing to compromise and let things slide. The rigour and effort I have put into this application for Bain and the determination I feel to secure this internship place has shocked even myself. I now realise that the reason I have always been quite passive is because I have never come across something I truly, truly want which I also can have so much control over. Sure, in terms of relationships, there have been guys who I really ‘wanted’, but the lack of control over such a situation and the number of unknowns meant that it did not warrant much effort from myself, as the ending result was really not up to me.
However, in the job market, I can prepare, I can practise case studies, I can read industry news, I can talk to University alumni, I can reduce the uncertainty and maximise my chances, I have a certain degree of control over my fate, it’s up to me to seize this opportunity. I can see myself entering a top firm such as Bain and flourishing, becoming the kind of woman who will be a role-model to girls like my current self. Having felt restrained and restricted all of my life, I really feel that it is about time I really took off and learnt to fly with my own wings, life has not always been kind to me, but it is true what they say – whatever does not kill you will only make you stronger. I have cried bucketfuls over my lifetime, my parents, my friends, my boyfriends have all let me down… I have felt anger and resentment, why does it have to happen to me? But I know now that each one of my experiences are not only uniquely invaluable, but they are assets which will help me in untold ways in the future. Even today, I realise that my tolerance for many emotional hardships is far higher than that of my peers, I am also noticeably more independent, it is up to me to work these to my advantage.
Tomorrow is the big day, the big test that all of my preparation for the past few months come down to – 2x 45minute interviews, I know I will be nervous, and I know that I really have to nail things tomorrow to guarantee a place. Yet, this is what I really want, and I can see all that I have achieved so far converging towards this final goal. I’m on the runway, nervous as hell but as prepared as I can be, all that is left for me to do is to spread my wings and take flight…
I got the internship…