Help: love-stuck at 21! Do I settle for the NICE GUY??
The million dollar question? Do the nice guys always win?
My boyfriend is amazing, we have only been apart (starting a long distance stint as I move to Singapore for a new job) for 2 weeks and he has already sent flowers twice, he calls at least twice a day and makes so much effort. We were best friends, we know everything about one another, he has seen the worst of me and has not been frightened away… He. Is. A. Gem.
So…why do I not miss him nearly as much as I thought?
In fact, I’m enjoying the independence and the new life that I have taken on.
There is yet another complication.
Last year, during my internship at my current firm, and I fell for a fellow intern x. We didn’t take it any further since we knew that we’d both be away for the year (completing our final year of studies), yet at the same time, we knew that we’d both be here now…
Surely we couldn’t have been so compatible considering that we couldn’t even wait this one year for each other.
But I find myself now staring at x constantly, wandering what he is doing, where he is going, how is he feeling, I find myself jealous of the girls he talks to, remniscient of the previous summer when we were so close…
I wanted to be a good girlfriend, I knew that x would be my weakness, so for these initial few weeks I made a conscious effort to avoid him. But it is so painful to see him all of the time, yet to know that we are no longer at that same level of closeness as last year. In fact, x seems to be on the cusp of something with someone else.
X and I used to talk everyday even when we were in distant lands, now we’re together, we’re more like strangers even though I am a mere text message away.
Maybe I have hurt x, now that I seem locked into another relationship.
If only I could talk to x alone, I miss those midnight meals we used to share…maybe that’s a bad idea.
I shouldn’t be too greedy, my current boyfriend is so amazing, the typical ‘nice guy’ that every girl would dream of meeting. But why did I meet him so early in life? I’m 21, not nearly at the age where I’d think of settling down…I’m so torn, so hurt, so confused.
I have missed out on x forever, and it hurts like hell to think of it like that, they say you always regret the things you didn’t do. Well this is surely one thing I did not do… Is it too late? If only I could be granted a sign…
